if u ever find a genie and you’re really craving a dessert that looks like this:
do NOT say “i’d like a lifetime supply of raspberry crowns”
while this is, in fact, the name of the pastry, it’s ALSO the name of a species of wasp for some reason. the genie, being a nasty trickster, will no doubt give you a bunch of wasps.
two years ago on new year’s eve I went out to a gay bar for the first time with a group of men and about 30 minutes before midnight I had to pee and the line was So Long and I got out of the bathroom literally during the 10 second countdown and I was just shouting the countdown as I wove my way through the shoulder-to-shoulder crowd, a little tipsy, looking for my friends, and I found them at the 5-count and my friend grabbed me and said “FOLLOW ME” and in the last 5 seconds before midnight he desperately shoved me into a girl he’d apparently met while I was in the bathroom who said she had no one to kiss and he yelled at us both “SHE’S A LESBIAN” and she kissed me. I’m not sure what my point is here but maybe just go out with a group of gay men who talk to strangers.
